They Told Me I Had To Write This has gone to Hollywood.
Kind of…
We’ve got a promo video up and running. Here it is.
Don’t you reckon that’s enough to make you run out and buy the book?
They Told Me I Had To Write This has gone to Hollywood.
Kind of…
We’ve got a promo video up and running. Here it is.
Don’t you reckon that’s enough to make you run out and buy the book?
Nice number to start with, I reckon, 1550.
Clem is the character in my new book, ‘They Told Me I Had To Write This‘. You can find it here www.kimmiller.id.au/clem
The release date is July 1st, but who’s counting? I’ve got a few author copies sitting on my desk. Friends of mine want to buy it. I’m getting a promo video prepared for YouTube. It’s all happening.
And I just got the news from the publisher – a school book club wants to take 1550 copies.
The first sale!
What a way to start!!
Clem is running round the house yelling Yippee!!!
The exclamations marks are building!!!!
Hope my editor doesn’t find out about those exclamation marks.
I’ve been thinking about the implications of choosing Scribbly Gum as a title. You can check out what a Scribbly Gum is up there on the right. It’s a kind of eucalypt, the classic Australian tree. It turns out what sounds like a cute kind of tree is anything but. Eucalypts have some nasty habits.
The first thing that you notice about most eucalypts is how messy they are. They drop their bark each year. It comes off in long strips and hangs in the branches and litters up the ground. OK, lots of trees drop things. Deciduous trees drop their leaves. Fruit trees drop their fruit. The difference with leaves and fruit is that they rot down to compost. Eucalypt bark is tough and fibrous and it doesn’t break down easily. And whereas deciduous trees drop the leaves as the weather cools down, the eucalypt sheds its bark as the weather is heating up.
So what difference does that make? It makes the base of the tree a fire hazard. Here in Australia that is a real problem.
The next thing about eucalypts is that the leaves contain high levels of very volatile and flammable oil. Eucalyptus oil is sold the world over to remove stains from clothing. That’s good. But in the typical Australian bush fire that oil evaporates from the leaves and hangs in the air like petrol vapour. It can explode into flame hundreds of yards ahead of the firefront.
Now lets look at the eucalypt leaves. They are different from most other trees. They hang vertically and they have this trick of slowly turning through the day so they are always edge-on to the sun. Eucalypt leaves have sun-phobia. They don’t like getting hot. There is little shade to be had from a eucalypt. The ground heats up, and all that littered bark heats up. A stray lightning strike easily sets the whole lot on fire.
Because the soil heats up, there is lessĀ humus and bacteria under a eucalypt. The soil is drier so other plants can’t grow. There is very little understory in a eucalypt forest. And the tree has another trick to add here. Eucalypts exude a substance that inhibits the growth of other plants. They like to keep the place to themselves. The result is a surviving eucalypt, but loss of biodiversity. The soil becomes carbon poor, and this in an age when we desperately need to increase carbon sequestration into the soil.
And just in case you thought I was finishing with this point, here’s something else. Because nothing much will grow around the base of a eucalypt, animals don’t feed there. This means they don’t leave their droppings there. No manure, no fertiliser, no enrichment of the soil. This is all part of the evil plan of the eucalypt for world domination! OK, a little bit heavy on the metaphor there, but you get the picture. This tree does not like visitors, whether plant or animal. And it doesn’t treat its soil very well either.
The eucalypt is so used to living in poor soil that it actually works at impoverishing it’s own growing region to defeat any competition. One of the results of life in a dry climate is that when it starts to suffer drought stress it sheds branches. Eucalypt branches are held on by duct tape or something. They can suddenly drop from the tree, snapping clean where they attach to the trunk. Remember that fire starter bark lying on the ground? Now its got some heavier fuel.
Now we have a real paradox. The tree works at impoverishing the soil so as to prevent other species from getting close. It heats up the ground and litters the hot ground with fire-starter bark. Then it releases vast amounts of volatile oil as fuel into the air. And when the fire goes through everything is burned. But not quite. Eucalypts have an extraordinary ability to recover from bush fire. they can sprout leaves from their trunk and then branches follow. And the other plants? Well, after the first rush of weeds there’s nothing much left to grow. So the eucalypt has the place to itself – just as it likes it.
And there you have it. Maybe being a scribbly gum is not so nice after all.
This is your friendly local predator signing out.
Well, the final cover design is done.

Check it out – http://users.tpg.com.au/kkmiller/Clem/
The book is off to the printers.
We’re planning a book launch.
I’m now putting together a promo video. Lots of new stuff to learn in there. There’s a lot of promo videos out there. Some of them are pretty good, I don’t plan on being among the others.
Long title, eh? Gotta love a long title, it means a short post.
Been on holidays.
Been learning the art of making Kinetic Typology videos.
Been searching for the voice for a video voiceover.
Lots of beens.
But mostly, I wanted to get a post up before April Fool’s Day. Just seemed important somehow.
The kid next door saw me. His little motorbike stopped.
It was running fine. Wonderfully fine. Noisily fine. All kinds of fine. He put it in the garage one afternoon, two days later he got it out and it wouldn’t run.
“Can you have another look at it, please?”
” ‘Course I can. Bring it over when you’ve got a spare minute.”
I’m going on the carburettor for this one. Probably got dirty fuel from that old can his dad uses and clogged a jet.
Looks like the boy’s apprenticeship isn’t over yet.
The publisher’s artist/book designer has given us some samples for the cover.

Nice work, I reckon. Now we are deciding which one to use. The publisher and I have been emailing everyone we know with teenagers in their family. It’s very low level market research, but it’s interesting that two covers get most of the votes. Next week the publisher will make the decision.
Want a look? The samples are here, for a little while. If the link doesn’t take you there, sorry about that, they are gone.
http://users.tpg.com.au/kkmiller/Clem/Cover_ideas.htm
Sorry Folks,
But you know what it’s like with a one track mind. Well, some of you do. I’ve been riding motorbikes for more than forty years, seems they just won’t stay away.
The next door neighbour came home from holidays. The wagon was packed, and the trailer was packed. And in there was a little Thumpstar dirt bike. One of those noisy things that scream up and down suburban streets before the kid is old enough to hold a license and go far from home.
I noticed the bike. The neighbour said it wasn’t running properly. He’d just bought it from a relative for his boy for Christmas but so far it was a bit of a disappointment. I asked what it was doing, he told me, I suggested a couple of possibilities.
The next day he asked me to have a look at it. And so before long I was teaching his ten year old son what makes the wheels go round on his bike. Most of the problems that develop with these little bikes is caused by some bloke who thinks he knows what he’s doing. Mostly he doesn’t. And he makes it worse. That is what had happened in this case. The problems were all home made by the previous owner. At least my neighbour knew enough not to try to fix it himself.
The second afternoon of working on the thing we got it running hot and strong. The boy took it out the next day and rode it from lunch time to almost sundown. The next day he took it out again but only lasted until the locals couldn’t stand the noise any more.
I suggested that he will be able to ride it longer at a time if he gets a quieter muffler. That’s a tough call for a little kid who is rapidly getting addicted to noise.
I’ve added to the noise pollution of the area a bit, but I’ve also got a ten year old thinking about what is really going on in that carburetor. All in a day’s work.
That party with the noise? It’s over.
And the noise? Nothin’ to worry about. Bit of music, bit of talk, bit of car doors slamming about 2am.
But the wine? That was wonderful. Sometimes you get the better end of the deal. This was one of those times.
It’s almost 9pm Friday local time. Twelve hours ago I drove out to work. My neighbour was talking to the driver of a truck that had just pulled up outside his house. In the truck? The noise. It was the local juke-box and karaoke hire.
I thanked the neighbour for the wine.
“Tell your mate he’s got great taste in reds,” I said.
“I’ll tell him,”
“And have a great day setting up.”
“Thanks. Have a good one.”
The kids played around on the karaoke a bit this afternoon. Twenty four hours and it’s on in earnest. And me? I’ll be sitting somewhere quiet, perhaps down near the lake, drinking some very nice red.
“Have a good one.”