Un-Gone

I blogged a little while ago on two ‘Gone’ guys here in Australia. And the opposite of gone?

How about that guy in the UK who walked into a Police Station and said he’s just come out of amnesia? Couldn’t remember anything for the last five years, he said. There he was out canoeing and suddenly he’s somewhere else and he’s lost five years of everything he ever knew.

Turns out he’s changed his story since then. They can do wonders these days with the right medicine. But he did give them a clue or two. Well, for a start, how did he know it was five years if he had amnesia? Bit of a give-away, that one.

Then again, the man used to be a prison officer. Perhaps he’s just used to measuring time in 5 year lots. Most guys doing time would rather forget about it, so I can’t say I blame him for not wanting to remember anything.

Not only that, but his wife has started to remember some stuff about him as well, such as how he was living in their wardrobe for years when everybody else thought the poor bloke was dead. OK, I promise I won’t make any Narnia jokes. But C.S.Lewis must be turning in his grave. And that was not a Narnia joke.

Everyone knows that you have to have a good memory if you are going to be a successful liar. So claiming to have forgotten absolutely everything means you start out dead in the water. People are starting to wonder if his story has more holes in it than his canoe seems to have had.

One can only wonder what makes a man pretend to have amnesia. I’m sure all that life insurance money that his wife had already spent had a bit to do with it. However much it was. Can’t recall just now but it’ll come to me.

For a while there I thought the two might have called the whole charade to a halt so they could sell the story to the newspapers. But then I thought, ‘What would they be able to write about?’ Let’s face it, a secret life in a wardrobe is not very eventful. Unless you are C.S.Lewis, of course. But he’s already claimed that as his own and I do not think that Mr Darwin is going to be getting any awards on this trick.

So there we have it. Welcome back to the wide-awake, dimly remembered, not so happy world of the un-gone.

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2 Responses to “Un-Gone”

  1. Narnie Says:

    The worst thing about that whole story is that their sons thought he was dead too! They have disowned their parents and the mother is distraught that her sons have found out but… I mean… huh? THEY’RE YOUR SONS!! It seems that a photo was about to be published so the guy turned himself in while the wife did a runner… why didn’t he just up and go too, if they had all that money? Oh I wish I got it. I bet there’ll be a film and it will be two glamarous a listers rather than the normal two up two down 60 somethings they actually are, haha.

  2. scribblygum Says:

    The Family. It’s a parallel universe where nobody really lives, but they pretend to live there.

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