Posts Tagged ‘funny’

One in Five

August 16, 2008

The Chinese Olympic thing has got me thinking. They reckon one in five people on the planet is Chinese, and that’s very significant for me as I was the middle one of five children.

I have two elder brothers, Craig and Peter, and two younger sisters, Jane and Meilin Chan.

Yeah, I reckon it must be Peter.

Advertisements

Sex

November 12, 2007

Coz I’m a bloke, that’s why, so it had to come up sooner or later. Let’s get it over with quickly, shall we?

Question:
What part of a man’s body expands up to four times with stimulation?
That boy in the back row, yes you, keep a lid on it.
Answer:
The pupils of the eyes.

Question:
What is the body’s largest sex organ?
OK you guys, keep it under control. Being fifteen won’t last forever, so you’d better get some practice for when it all ends.
Answer:
The brain.

There you go, sex talk over. Seems we haven’t quite got it together on this topic after all. All this fuss over such a little thing. Sorry to get a bit personal here. But the evidence is that it is really a little thing. Why else would I be getting all those emails about making it bigger?

What I want to know is how they found out. And so many of them. It’s not as if I’ve been advertising or anything. What, you’ve been getting those emails too? Well it’s good to know I’m not the only deficient one on the planet.

Our world sure does make the most of the sex thing. Especially the world of advertising. Oh yeah, and the world of spam. Who ever thinks of spam and sex in the one sentence? That’s what I want to know.

So then, let’s think about it. One part of the world is filling our in-box with stuff that says our sex thing’s too small. The rest of the world thinks that sex is the biggest thing that we’ve got going. If the truth is out there, what the heck is it?

When I was fifteen I could have answered this quite easily. Then when my son was fifteen I could have asked him. But I’m older these days. Funny, isn’t it? You get to be a sexegenarian and suddenly you’re past it.