Posts Tagged ‘alien abduction lamp’

The Aliens Have Landed

December 14, 2009

Run for your lives, they’re real.

This thing is now sitting in my house.

It doesn’t have Shawn the Sheep in it. It’s got a cow being beamed up.

And since it’s been here, my blog posts keep disappearing, the microwave has stopped working, the phone keeps dialling a non-existent number, my pacemaker has been beeping, and my voice sounds like it’s coming from deep down in some machine and there’s all this heavy breathing happening that I can’t explain. Oh yeah, I keep telling people that I am their father.


Aliens Relent

October 22, 2009

I woke up this morning, turned on the computer, and the Alien Abduction Lamp page loaded. Easy.

I checked the price. $100 US.

I checked shipping to Australia. $25 US.

I converted those aliens numbers to Australian. $134.926

I transferred $135 into the account I use for web purchases.

I placed the order.

I have gone where no man has gone before.

OK, that last one is a lie.

The Alien Abduction Lamp

October 21, 2009

I have a wonderful wallpaper pic on my laptop. It’s of an alien spaceship abducting a cow. Wanna see?

Alien Abduction Lamp

Alien Abduction Lamp

The guy who did the mockup you see here has been working these last two years and he’s now in production.

Today I got my email.

Alien lamp poster

And this is what the production version looks like.

Alien abduction lamp - production model

Trouble is, the website won’t load. The email tells me that there are only 2,000 lamps available. I reckon those have been snapped up in minutes of those emails hitting the world. And the website just can’t handle the traffic.

So here I am with my credit card on the desk and no way of getting into the ordering system. It’s a sad day.