The Aliens Have Landed

Run for your lives, they’re real.

This thing is now sitting in my house.

It doesn’t have Shawn the Sheep in it. It’s got a cow being beamed up.

And since it’s been here, my blog posts keep disappearing, the microwave has stopped working, the phone keeps dialling a non-existent number, my pacemaker has been beeping, and my voice sounds like it’s coming from deep down in some machine and there’s all this heavy breathing happening that I can’t explain. Oh yeah, I keep telling people that I am their father.

Weird.

AlienAbductionLamp.com

Aliens Relent

I woke up this morning, turned on the computer, and the Alien Abduction Lamp page loaded. Easy.

I checked the price. $100 US.

I checked shipping to Australia. $25 US.

I converted those aliens numbers to Australian. $134.926

I transferred $135 into the account I use for web purchases.

I placed the order.

I have gone where no man has gone before.

OK, that last one is a lie.

http://abductionlamp.com

The Alien Abduction Lamp

I have a wonderful wallpaper pic on my laptop. It’s of an alien spaceship abducting a cow. Wanna see?

Alien Abduction Lamp

The guy who did the mockup you see here has been working these last two years and he’s now in production.

Today I got my email.

And this is what the production version looks like.

Trouble is, the website won’t load. The email tells me that there are only 2,000 lamps available. I reckon those have been snapped up in minutes of those emails hitting the world. And the website just can’t handle the traffic.

So here I am with my credit card on the desk and no way of getting into the ordering system. It’s a sad day.